Under pressure

May 24, 2012 – When I was a kid I went to a science museum where they demonstrated how scientist determine how strong something is by putting it under increasing levels of stress until it shattered along its week points.

While crushing things like bowling balls and other large heavy objects in a hyrdraulic press satisfies some fantasy of many people and would keep my inner 6-year-old happy for hours, it is one thing to be the press and another thing to be the object being squeezed.

Lately I have been feeling like I have been stuck in a press. It seems like there is never enough hours in the day to get the things that have to get done completed, as opposed to actually getting to do anything that I want to get done – like making it to class in the past two weeks. Last week I had a work conflict and tonight rather than sweating with whatever Jenn came up with, I was snapping pictures and scribbling down names at local high school’s graduation awards night. Since I had been at the office until about 2:30 a.m. and back and working by 7:30 a.m. I am starting to show the wear.

The other problem with stress is that you tend to eat more. It is not that you are really hungry even, at least for me it tends to be a control thing. When it appears my life is out of control and the stress and pressure are mounting food in one of the things I can find control in. What I need to realize more though is that finding a point of balance and control in food means choosing healthy options instead of whatever sweet happens to nearest at hand.

All that said, I will take that somewhat heretical stand and say that if a chocolate chip cookie is what someone needs in order to retain their sanity through a day, then more power to them. The key is in knowing that there is a trade off, a 200 calorie cookie vs. that much more time spent working out.

Sometimes the calories are worth it.

There are plenty of places with gobs of research about the impact stress has on people’s health and well being. I can just tell you that for me the best stress outlet is to work up a good sweat. Working out is a pretty good option too.

For now though, I think I may just need to hit the sack so that I can function.

 

You know, its not ALWAYS supposed to hurt

May 9, 2012 — Gosh, now they tell us.

Here, all along I have been thinking that I was supposed to be in pain in order to be getting into shape and now Jenn tells us tonight that sometimes it is just supposed to feel good to stretch and do physical activity.

Really?

Are you sure? Because it just sort of feels kind of wrong to just do it because it feels good. Maybe it is my upbringing, but I feel kind of guilty for doing things just because they feel good.

Well, if you are insistent about it.  Ahhhhh. Yeah, I think I could used to doing exercises solely because it felt good.

Wait, what I am saying. Of course it has felt good all along. Even on weeks where two days after the workout you have to hold onto things in order to sit down and where when you sit quietly you can imagine each one of the muscles in you core yelling at you.

It feels good to bypass the dessert table because you’re just not hungry for something sweet or to go to a fish fry and realize that you have trouble eating the small portion when you used to down several helping of the large portions. Or like this week when I realized sometime this afternoon that I had managed to go almost four days without having more than a serving of meat and still having no real craving for it, which considering I have always been a meat lover type is saying a lot.

I love being able to go on a bike ride with my children and being able to go for hikes and exploring and having more stamina then I have had since I was 18.

I guess what I am saying is that I enjoy the results of the workouts and if it causes me a little discomfort at the time I can deal with it.

What, oh time leg lifts followed by more leg lifts and then crunches with weights and ending with a three-minute plank. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

Bring it on.

 

 

 

X marks the spot

May 2, 2012 — I am what you might describe as being a goal-oriented kind of guy. If I don’t have a definite goal to work for I tend to lose focus and drift to other things. So now, having achieved the goal of completing my first marathon, I am left thinking what my next goal should be. There are plenty of mountains yet to climb and my journey is far from over, I just need to decide what path I want to take and what work I will need to get there.

For the past few days I have been slacking a bit. This has been more from necessity then laziness as to be honest I was having trouble walking up until Tuesday afternoon and even now my left arm is still sore. I have a metal plate in that arm and when I have have used it for long periods in the past it gets sore, so I am not too worried about it.

Tonight at class though I got back in the saddle, so to speak. Of course, the saddle involved me laying in a large letter X and raising my legs and crossing and uncrossing and then throwing in some crunches and then repeating and then we added going into a bridge position alternating bridges with crunches. Yeah, I am figuring it will be one of those weeks where by Friday afternoon I will need to hold onto the walls to sit down on the toilet.

Yeah, thinking that may be a little too much information.

The plus of getting all sweaty while laying on our backs with our legs spread in the air, was that we were done the lunges for the evening. Not to mention the high steps, side lunges and the ever versatile rings of fire.

It pains me to admit that there were times during last weekend’s marathon where I was doing high steps and lunges just to try to loosen up my tightening muscles, so other than the rings of fire I really can’t complain too much about them.

I want to lose about another 15 pounds to get down to where I want to be as far as long term maintenance weight. Primarily I want to work on toning up some of the flabby skin I have. However, this is more of something I have to do rather than a lofty goal to work for. With warmer weather and longer days I am thinking of doing something with bicycling but I haven’t decided exactly what I should do.

I do know that I don’t want to take too much time between goals because unless you are working toward a goal, it is too easy — at least for me — to just give up and decide to commune with my inner lounge lizard.

One step at a time

April 29, 2012 – one day after the Pine Line Marathon – Mountains come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they are steep and rugged. Sometimes they are rolling and worn with passage of time. Sometimes mountains are flat.

Getting there one step at a time

The sun was just peeking over the trees and houses on the East side of the Medford Millpond Saturday morning when I parked my car at the city park and stepped out into the brisk morning air.

I had applied my Vaseline (chafing is never fun) and other gear at home so all that was left for me to do was to try and warm up and stretch and wait.

Waiting is hard to do.

It when you are waiting that the doubts come into your mind and your start to question the wisdom of your choices.

My goal in doing the Pine Line Marathon was to finish it in under 8 hours. This is about two hours longer than the cutoff for most marathons. The Pine Line doesn’t have an official cutoff, but I know from being a volunteer at the race for years that it gets to be a very long day as you wait for the tail end Charlie to finish. So instead I talked with the race organizers and they agreed to let me start 2 hours earlier than everyone else. Which is why at 5:50 in the morning I was standing and shivering in the park as a steady breeze blew across the pond waiting for Race Director Sue Emmerich to tell me to start.

My wife Kim and children Alex and Beth were there to see me off. (Beth was doing the half marathon with her friend Katie later in the morning.) I was surprised to see my coworker Mark show up with his camera to take pictures of me starting and my friend Mike also came to cheer me on.

Getting started

It would be at least 2 hours before any of the volunteers and aid stations would be up and running and when Tom Tessendorf heard that I would be out there alone, he arranged to meet up with me about an hour into the race. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed chocolate milk more than when I drank down the bottle he handed me. He also had a water bottle with a cool strappy thing to attach to my hand along with some energy gels and salt packets for when the cramping begins.

Marathons are long a grueling races. Considering according to Wikipedia, the marathon is named after the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek messenger. The legend states that he was sent from the battlefield of Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated in the Battle of Marathon (in which he had just fought), which took place in August or September, 490 BC. It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping and burst into the assembly, exclaiming “νικωμεν’ (nikomen)”, We have won), before collapsing and dying.

The plus on Saturday was that the weather conditions were near ideal, with overcast skies and temperatures that hovered in the upper 40s and low 50s. Most importantly, it stayed dry, as opposed to the training run I took a few weeks ago where I had to deal with drizzle and sleet.

One of the challenges of a 26.2 mile race is how to pace yourself. The longest event I have done prior to his was the half marathon and doubling the distance meant that although I had energy to burn at the beginning I needed to make sure I could make it to the end without pulling a Pheidippides and croaking as I crossed the finish line – or worse within sight of the finish line.

I stuck to my cadence, of alternating running and walking in time with the music on my MP3 player and was making good time. At about three hours and 16 minutes, I rounded the barrel at the halfway point and started on the way back. It is strange to think that I was able to get a personal best time in half marathon when I was holding back. Must be all the torture – um I mean hard work – that Gloria and Jenn have put me through to get to this point.

On the course of a marathon, like any long journey, you start off carrying plenty of baggage in hopes of being prepared for anything that may come up. Along the way that baggage is gradually shed. Coming back down the trail you could see some of this baggage, jackets, sweatshirts, gloves, empty packets of energy gel and other stuff. What you didn’t see was the mental baggage that was also shed along the way, but those burdens were the heaviest of all. It is when you are able to drop those that the journey back home became easier.

I could go on and on about the pain that started in my left knee about mile 18 forcing me to stop the walk/run cadence and stick with walking. Or how my quadriceps felt like they were on fire as they tightened up. Or how the small bits of gravel in my shoes rubbed causing blisters to form. Or how despite the pain I broke into a run in the last few dozen yards before crossing the finish line with my children running alongside me. Or the amazing euphoria I felt finally having achieved this goal. I could go into all those details, but it would get long and tedious.

The Pine Line Rail Trail is about as flat as you can get in northcentral Wisconsin. There is a slight incline of a few dozen feet over the course of the trail as you head from south to north. As mountains go it doesn’t seem like much, but physical elevation is often the lowest way to measure a mountain.

By their very existence mountains issue a challenge. They exist to be climbed and conquered. The journey to the summit involves pain, sacrifice and most of all a drive to succeed.

Journeys are always completed one step at a time.

 

Final countdown

April 25, 2012– 3 days until the Pine Line Marathon — “So, Brian, are you ready for the Marathon this weekend?” I was asked for about the 55th time today.

I paused before answering and in that pause I thought “What? This weekend already. My God in Heaven, where did the time go? It seemed like I should have had another month. What am I freaking insane, what kind of idiot am I to decide to do a 26.2 mile race and then to top it all off tell EVERYONE in the world that I am going to be doing it so that there is no possible way I can back out of it.”

Instead I replied, “Yeah, I think so. We’ll find out for sure on Saturday.”

When I set out with the goal of doing the Pine Line Marathon, it seemed like it was so far away. Now, I am looking it in the face and to be honest I am a bit terrified.

It is this mental game that I need to learn to overcome. It is just like in when I am sitting down and writing a lengthy feature story for the newspaper where I  work, the hardest words are the first ones you type. The lead sentence can make or break a story, which is why the trick is getting stories done on deadline is to do the first sentence last. When you are writing several thousand words you don’t think about the whole, you break it down. One sentence at a time, on paragraph, one thought leading into another and you are only done when the story is told.

I know from my experience in doing two half-marathons in the past year, that competing in a long race works much the same way as writing a lengthy story. You don’t think about the distance as a whole but instead you give yourself goals as you go along. Such as making it to the next intersection, or water station or that area up ahead where the sun seems to be shining. The other key is to keep moving. Walking even at the slowest pace is infinitely faster than standing still.

I know these things and I know that thanks to Jenn and Gloria and all their twisted ways of making us sweat, I am in the best shape I have been in since high school, if not before. So why is it that I am terrified?

The truth of the matter is that I am terrified for the same reason we are terrified the morning before we go into work at a new job, or the first day of class at a new school, or on our first date. It is fear of the unknown and the only way to conquer that fear is to jump in and do it.

Of course, all these mind games are nothing new in this journey toward a healthier lifestyle. Every challenge is equal parts physical and mental sweat and while you may have the support of those around, every challenge must be overcome as an individual.

The greatest challenges always come from within and while  I don’t rightly know if I will cross the finish line or be carried over it on Saturday, I know for sure that I will go down swinging. I owe that much to those who have helped me get this far.

It doesn’t help that I have been achy lately. Work stress and the changing weather has left me tense and sore and I am feeling it in my bad hip and arm. A nice workout tonight was just what the doctor ordered in order to relieve some of that tension. Before my classmates start throwing darts at me, I should clarify that “nice” is a very subjective term and that what is “nice” for Gloria and Jenn is often hell on earth for those of us attempting to do the exercises. We spent a lot of time working on our core muscles, for which I was grateful.

In one of those weird epiphanies about how far I have come, this morning I was walking by the full length bathroom mirror on the way from the shower and notice that I actually had some definition in my abs. It is nothing like my friend Shirtless Larry, who is a fitness instructor in New Jersey, but nonetheless it is more than I have noticed in several years and made me feel good about myself.

When you get down to it, the primary goal of any healthy living program is so that people feel good about themselves.

The long run

April 11, 2012 — 17 days until the Pine Line Marathon — I am tired.

I mean tired, in a bone weary I want to curl into a ball and be oblivious to the world kind of tired. So tired that I thought briefly of skipping class tonight and just vegging out to just to take time and be one with my inner lounge lizard.

Fortunately, I resisted the urge and instead I rushed to be done at work and help my wife close up her bakery shop (The Pine Line Cafe) for the night and get to class on time. After the kind of week I have had I needed to sweat a bit if for no other reason then to get the endorphin rush that shows up after a good workout. Hey, you get your fix your way, and I’ll get it mine.

It is was when Jenn pulled out the Rings of Fire, that I started to question my judgement in choosing class over a nice soft sofa. The important thing about the rings to remember is that while they may cause pain and anguish while you are using them and for several day afterward if you are doing the exercises correctly, is that they truly are your friends and are there to help you become a better, healthier person.

That said, at certain points tonight I wanted to rush around and collect all the of the rings of fire and literally set them on fire and melt them down into a slag heap of steaming metal and then get a large steamroller and flatten them before dropping the whole thing in the deepest part of the ocean.

Yeah, I was feeling the love.

But I restrained my impulse toward ring abuse and instead grunted and huffed my way through the exercises.

And you know what, when all was said and done, I actually have more energy now than before the class and the world doesn’t seem quite so stressful.

On Saturday I did my “long run.” About a month before a long race, it is good to push yourself and do a longer distance to simulate race conditions. I am convinced the reason for it is to actually get yourself believing that you can actually do it. At least I know that was important for me as I have the goal of completing my first marathon later this month. Of course, we chose to do it Saturday afternoon and evening — you know, when it got really cold and overcast and started to drizzle and then sleet. On the plus side, I was happy with my performance. On the downside my hips are still sore from the pounding they got and it was Sunday afternoon before I finally felt warm again.

I am constantly reminded that overcoming physical challenges is all about dealing with mental challenges and reminding yourself that nothing is impossible to overcome if you just keep plugging away. Everything takes work, and setting small goals and pushing yourself just a little more. And oh yeah, don’t ever forget to breathe.

 

Break me down, build me up

April 4, 2012 – 24 days until the Pine Line Marathon — My big comfy chair has bit the dust and to be honest, my feelings about it are somewhat  bittersweet.

Yeah, I know you were logging into this blog to vicariously feel the love from the weekly workout sessions with Jenn and Gloria and are wondering why I am talking about broken furniture, well, cut me some slack and work with me here. I’ll bring it back to doing three-minute planks and all that fun stuff that causes Jenn to giggle uncontrollably.

Now, where was I   . . . Oh yeah, my chair broke.

As a little bit of back story, on September 19, 2006 the car I was driving was t-boned by another vehicle when they ran a stop sign on a country road. I spent about a month in the hospital in Madison, Marshfield and Medford, about three months in a wheelchair as my hip healed and many more months of physical therapy for my hip and arm. Including having to wear this evil contraption each night to attempt and force my arm to bend. Sleeping in bed to begin with pretty much out of the question so while I was still in the hospital my wife bought me a basic recliner. Our living room was tiny so it wasn’t one of those big fancy ones, rather a durable Queen Anne style chair that reclined.

To say that I lived in that chair would not be an exaggeration. There would be days that I spent 18 or 19 hours in it.  When the weather changes or my hip gets achy I will still end up sleeping in the chair because I just can’t get comfortable anywhere else.

As you can imagine that much use has not been kind to my chair. The upholstery is pulling around the arms and since it was never really designed to hold someone as fat as I was, the base had to be reinforced after a support board broken a few years ago. Yet, despite its wear and tear, it was my chair and had seen me through some rough times. You don’t just walk away from a relationship like that.

Then it happened. Out of the blue this week, the back of the chair decided to go in the recline position on its own and stay there and there appears to be no way of fixing it.

Interestingly enough, Saturday night when my chair bit the dust was also the day when my temporary handicapped parking placard expired. I have had the placard since the accident and used it a fair bit over the years as my hip ached to the point of needing to use a cane to walk. I haven’t had to use the placard in a long time, for which I am grateful. Besides it would  just be wrong to be training to take part in a Marathon and park in the handicapped spot and the local Chinese restaurant.  I just found it interesting that two very obvious reminders of that time went away at the same time.

So, like I said I am feeling bittersweet about my chair. I will miss it, but it was time to move on. Besides it is not like I have much time to sit around anyway.

Getting back to class, tonight we had a new group of people joining us and Gloria put us through the paces in order to asses their strengths and needs. Hence the 3 minute plank, which I was pretty proud of myself for having accomplished without having to go down on a knee halfway through.

Seeing the very nervous expressions on the faces of our classmates tonight got me thinking back to the start of this fitness journey more than a year ago. I still get nervous when Jenn starts to giggle about an exercise she wants us to do, but through the results I have seen in the past 14 months, I would be willing to at least attempt anything they throw at us, knowing that in all likelihood I will be feeling the love for days to come.

 

 

 

Huffing and puffing

March 28, 2012- 31 days until the Pine Line Marathon — Change is slow, except when it is fast.

I managed to do a headstand, something I last did when I was maybe about 10 years old.

I know that seems a bit odd and contradictory, but bear with me a bit and see if it makes sense when I get finished. Mind you, I am not making any promises that it will, so I guess we will find out together.

You see, most of the time you stumble along trying to avoid banging into things or stepping on your kids’ Legos in a dark room. While you are aware of your immediate surroundings it has more to do with avoiding pain then actually accomplishing things.

Now, imagine someone leaves the bathroom light on down the hallway. The room isn’t so murky dark and as your eyes adjust you can make out the hazards in your path. You begin to move faster and with more confidence, knowing where your destination is and how you are going to get there.

The journey to a healthy lifestyle starts in the dark room where you are just trying to get your bearings. It is hard and nearly impossible to navigate the hazards of the room without some help. That’s where folks like Jenn and Gloria come in. They are the light at the end of the hallway that gives you guidance through the darkness and security in the knowledge that you can make it. You are still the one who has to make it through the dark room and avoid the hazards along the way, but you are not alone.

Now as you plod along the journey, you don’t see the differences. You feel differences long before you will notice them in a mirror. There is more spring in your step, your energy levels are higher and your endurance and stamina are higher than they have been. You begin to feel good, but always that damned mirror stares back at you and mocks your efforts.

You know you have been working your butt off, but when does it show? Aren’t your clothes supposed to be looser now or your waistline slimmer? It is easy at this point to give up. After all, that yummy brown food is just waiting for you to seek solace in its deep fried embrace.

Then there comes a day, when you meet someone who hasn’t seen you for a while who say “Wow, have you been working out, you look great.” You think they are

just being nice or are full of crap since you still don’t see any changes.

The change hits you hard a fast though when after three months and the seasons change you go to take your favorite pair of shorts out of the dresser drawer and the damn things fall down as you walk across the room and worse yet, they take the underwear you are wearing down with them, since they were basically being held up only by the clothes you were wearing.

Still you wonder, gosh how did my clothes get bigger, the waistbands don’t look that shot. Weird, must be something wrong with the washing machine, you think.

The ton of bricks finally falls into place when you see a picture of yourself from some family event from the year or more before. And you don’t recognize that person any more. Or you cringe and think Holy Crap! why didn’t anyone tell me I was the size and shape of a Volkswagen Beetle.

And that is when the creeping change finally hits hard and fast and you are left holding your breath and wondering if it was a dream.

Some people can turn off that hallway light and move with confidence in the dark. For me I still need those guides to keep me on my journey.

Those guides are important, even when they gleefully put you through the paces until the muscles in your arms and shoulders ache and loudly complain. It helps to keep reminding myself all night long. One, two, three , four, breathe in, one, two, three, four, breathe out and yes if I was huffing any harder when doing the rolldowns someone would have had to scrape a lung off the opposite wall.

On the plus side as we ended our classes tonight I even managed to do a head stand — with a little help from Gloria.

Believe in new beginnings

March 21, 2012 — I believe in new beginnings and that people can ultimately choose who they want to be.

The trick is that they have to be willing to put the work into making themselves into the person they think they want to be. I put the qualifier of “think” in there because in general who we imagine ourselves being at the beginning of a journey is far different from where we decide we want to go at the halfway point or further along.

A scheduling conflict kept me from class tonight, but it didn’t keep me from sweating. Instead, I took Kiko the cowardly dog with me and put in five miles tonight pushing myself to keep a fast pace and step it up. My dog is now doing his best fur rug imitation and I will soon be joining him.

I had a little bit of a scare this past weekend. I spent much of the weekend either at the Medford Area Chamber of Commerce Home and Business Expo or working at my wife’s bakery/coffee/soup and sandwich shop, the Pine Line Cafe. While I am used to being on my feet for long periods of time, in this case I wasn’t wearing the best shoes and on Saturday night had a sharp pain in the upper right center of my right food. It ached and was sore and tender like a very bad bruise.

Of course, I immediately started to panic about stress fractures and other afflictions which would sideline me until they healed, which about a month out from my first full marathon would not be good at all.

Fortunately, some Aleve, and staying off it for a day helped immensely.  The lesson in this is you should always wear the right kind of shoe or at least make sure to sit down and take a break every now and then.

I think I am going to try that rug imitation now.

Happy valley

March 14, 2012 – 45 days until the Pine Line Marathon – Jenn needs more hobbies. Preferably ones that take a lot of mental thought and take her mind off of coming up with new and exciting ways to make us sweat.

Not that I am complaining. No I would never ever complain about having to do shuttle runs/high stepping/lunges/side lunges/ more lunges/ did I mention the lunges/ and jump pushup stand up and jump sets back and forth across the exercise room. There is nothing more fun than having muscles you didn’t know you had burning and having your shirt soaked with sweat within 10 minutes of starting class.

Really . . . .

Seriously . . .

I mean it . . .

OK, yeah, you got me. That said the warm up stuff wasn’t too bad. As something to take note of thought, when Jenn or Gloria say an exercise isn’t the worst thing we will be doing during a class, it is a good bet that you will be sore for a few days afterward.

The interesting thing is that those of us in their classes take the soreness as some sort of badge of honor. Maybe it is because we realize when those abdominal muscles scream at us how much work we had to do to make it happen, and maybe it is because we are seeing results. One of my classmates met her goal weight loss for the program tonight and commented about this being the best program she has ever participated in because it works. As someone who has come a long way on my own fitness journey I will soundly endorse whatever magic Gloria and Jenn come up with because without their efforts and support I for one would not have gotten this far and I am sure the others in their classes will agree.

So yeah, we are somewhat of an odd bunch almost bragging about how sore we were after a given workout, but that we came back for more the next week.

We spent a lot of time working with the Weights of Wonder tonight. I am not too proud to say that I stuck with the one-pound weights – or rather after attempting an exercise with the three pounders I switched quickly to the one pounders.

I felt pretty good about myself when I was able to pull myself up into a controlled sit-up from a laying position. It is little things like that, that show progress is being made.

As far as the Happy Valley reference in the title of this entry, it would probably be better to ask Gloria or Jenn about that directly. All I will tell you is that it had to do with the challenge some members of the class have in seeing their feet during an exercise where were squatting in place and holding it and Gloria’s suggestion on how they could manage it.